thankful

Pessimism is toxic.

After getting so darned frustrated over things, i have decided to just work with what's workable, and just be happy (even if it kills me).

Last night, for example. I was jarred into reality without any warning, and i had to really take the time to digest the fact that, yes, it is already March... so many things are changing, and everything is going by so fast that i can't help but feel sad. That realization made my eyes blurry and as i took that in, i tried so hard not not feel bad, bottling up what i was feeling inside me.

Not only that, on our way to dinner we had the worst encounter with taxi drivers. It's amazing how much of an asshole a driver can be without meaning to (or perhaps they did mean to be such --- it is rush hour). I mean, negotiating with a driver is bad enough (how far is greenhills from ortigas center, really!?) but to drive away without saying anything while you're talking to him is just too much. ARGH! These people complain a lot about unfairness and all that crap they get from the gov't., the people, etc., but they can't even extend the smallest courtesy of properly negotiating (like that is even proper --duh)

Anyway, after that, my frustration just grew and grew until i was talking trash and stomping around. Meanwhile, Jason was patiently watching and going along with me, squeezing my hand until he finally stopped me as i was ranting and hugged me. Hard. He smelled my hair and kissed me and said, "it'll be ok, baby".

I looked at him and realized that yeah, it will be. For some reason, seeing him there just stopped me. It made me think of the mess i got myself in, getting myself all worked up for some stupid reason. So i let it go. I looked into his eyes and just thought of how great it felt to be with him, just be with him. The thought of having him beside me there, made my frustrations melt away. I immediately felt better.

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So i have decided to try to just be thankful nowadays. No matter how many small things irk me, i will try to not let to get to me. After all, everything's changing, moving so fast that i can't let any time get wasted by getting all pissed off. (I just hope i can sustain this positive energy).

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5 things i am happy about:
+ my sweetie getting in to Northwestern!
+ my mom graduating from her MAs this April!
+ my brother's success in his latest project at work! :-)
+ having great friends!
+ an upcoming trip!

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